WeedTRACKER

endlesssky · 10-05-2006, 06:42 AM

hi, i have been in active recovery for 8 year;s and still counting!!. now most people i know in recovery my disagree with me about how much time i have due to mmj . buy i;m not in recovery for them am i? i'm in recovery for me and we all have indivdual case's of how we stay clean. and i invite them to put themselves in my place and try and live in this skin for awhile and then come and yalk to me about recovery and pain and a thing called supitdy about putting yourself though undue pain, and i think all of us in revovery have had enough pain in this world. and drug;s wer but a symtom of the real problem , which is liveing life on life's terms, with out takeing everything in life personal as a very vendetta just toget in our way!! come on nobody's that important. but we think that way don;t we. so i say when everyone in AA or NA becomes a dr, i might and i mean might maybe listen then.. but untill they have walked in my shoe's . let he without sin cast the first stone!! go ahead smart asses. AA and NA really love to hear themselves talk you just have to sife thoght it is all for all the good stuff thats there. i listen to the message not the messenger. at least itry anyway. i stopped going to meeting's, and i miss them and i miss the dances too. but what can i say. i know they will ask me my sobrity date they always do. fukin nose'e ass holes. their more interested in gossip to really stay clean and contribute to NA as a whole. im done with service work and all that i paid my due's. and where are these so called freinds now !! i've been real sick for about two years now i started to miss meeting , showing up late and leaving early just real sick , i started useing my wheel chair about then and nothing no calls no can i come over to help . no nothing my so called freinds and fellow ship. i need people now but no!! NOnO NO more program thankyou . i.m sick of 12 stepping people that don't want to get clean. they are so full of excuse's it;s pathic. just think that was me once or twice maybe even more than that!!, i stay away from anything that will hurt me except cig;s. if it works for you isay if it an'i't broke don't fix it. that;s all that counts really is if you or me as and indivdual;s are happy in what we have become of ourselves. i am proud of who i am. and of who i will become as time goe's by.i really belive that, do you? i find as long as i;m rigously honest in all my affairs i;m cool. no more turmiol. my therapist is in AA and has been their for forever atleast 25 years. so i tell her everthing. even about the mmj and i have to say her first recaction was to kick me out of group so i agreed because i was not about to stop. so we had a stand off. after about 30 days and seeing me in a wheel chair took the wind out of her sail's and she agreed that i needed it . i told my liver doc and she does'nt have a problem withit and i tell my therapist if i think it's getting

10-05-2006, 08:03 AM

Okay from someone who has 20+ years sober AA/NA Counselor:

Sobriety is a wonderful thing.
Your Medication is recommended by your Doctor, and you use it only as needed to relieve your symptoms or Illness. This is not the same as going out and buying an eightball and partying until dawn. I was afraid of Morphine when I had my Neck surgery, I was afraid of the Demerol and Oxycontin from the aftercare. If you are not Abusing Cannabis, you are still considered in my eyes SOBER and SANE.
Remember until 1929 Cannabis was used to treat Addiction by mitigating the Withdrawal effects. Don't worry about the 12 steppers.. Some of them have their own agenda. The "Holier than Thou" group always shows at My AA / NA meetings. They are the ones that I feel are the bane of Addiction treatments. Their Criticism is always directed toward others, not themselves. They Perceive GOD as some Superior Omnipotent Being. I see GOD as :
Good Orderly Direction (e.g. I have G.O.D. in My life).
If you need someone other than your sponsor to talk to. PM me and I'll fire you my phone number.

Glenn R

I have a five step program:
(1) I have a problem with my life, that is why I abused _____________.
(2) I will be honest with myself and others.
(3) I will Ask for help from Friends and Family when I need it. Everytime I need it.
(4) I will not be ashamed of my Illness.
(5) I will recover.

**Leosyndicate** · 10-05-2006, 08:58 AM

Endlesssky, thanks for sharing. I can relate to your feelings of abandonment regarding the fellowship in your previous meetings. The funny thing about AA and NA is that they preach acceptance, unity, service, honesty, fellowship, etc. to no end.. But oftentimes the only motive behind such ideals is to save their own skin. They wear their good deeds on their sleeves like brownie-badges.

I too, have felt a lack of sincerity in the "fellowship".. It's often very clique-ish and judgmental. People gravitate towards folks who are aggressively upwardly mobile in the way they share. If you don't wield the programmed silver tongue (or like in my case, have evolved to a point where you can no longer spew that rhetoric and be true to yourself), then when you disappear from the scene-- you are not missed.

I think that AA and NA offer great tools for the recovering addict, but for me will never be the end-all. The goal of recovery should be gradual self-improvement and freedom from self-destructive compulsive behaviour. A lot of the content I get out of meetings these days does not seem to contribute to my personal journey on those two fronts. Specifically, compassion and tolerance are lacking. To become more compassionate and tolerant, I think for most of us, would entail a kinder state of self-acceptance as well. I want to grow in recovery and broaden my horizons. A quote I've heard batted around at meetings is "The Path to Recovery gets narrower the farther down it, you travel." I want none of that.. There are many paths to choose from and if I cannot see the merit in each of them, then I am letting myself become blinded and judgmental.

Glad that you could join us, Sky..

**labrat** · 10-05-2006, 09:05 AM

clean for 9days now(again) finally slept good last nite !!! peace lab rat

**Leosyndicate** · 10-05-2006, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kushcollective

Okay from someone who has 20+ years sober AA/NA Counselor:

Sobriety is a wonderful thing.
Your Medication is recommended by your Doctor, and you use it only as needed to relieve your symptoms or Illness. This is not the same as going out and buying an eightball and partying until dawn. I was afraid of Morphine when I had my Neck surgery, I was afraid of the Demerol and Oxycontin from the aftercare. If you are not Abusing Cannabis, you are still considered in my eyes SOBER and SANE.
Remember until 1929 Cannabis was used to treat Addiction by mitigating the Withdrawal effects. Don't worry about the 12 steppers.. Some of them have their own agenda. The "Holier than Thou" group always shows at My AA / NA meetings. They are the ones that I feel are the bane of Addiction treatments. Their Criticism is always directed toward others, not themselves. They Perceive GOD as some Superior Omnipotent Being. I see GOD as :
Good Orderly Direction (e.g. I have G.O.D. in My life).
If you need someone other than your sponsor to talk to. PM me and I'll fire you my phone number.

Glenn R

I have a five step program:
(1) I have a problem with my life, that is why I abused _____________.
(2) I will be honest with myself and others.
(3) I will Ask for help from Friends and Family when I need it. Everytime I need it.
(4) I will not be ashamed of my Illness.
(5) I will recover.

I love it!! Recovering MMj patients, coming out of the woodwork. Glenn, I really like your five-step program.. Your creation?

MJ used to mitigate the withdrawal effects. That sounds like the perfect use for it.. I wonder if a doctor would write a rec on those grounds.

Of all the many cliches tossed around at meetings, the G.O.D. one has helped me more than most others. My Higher Power is the Greater Good.

If you are not Abusing Cannabis, you are still considered in my eyes SOBER and SANE.

To clarify, how would you define Cannabis abuse? Is it using more than is necessary? Is it using when the pain is not severe? If my chronic back pain is tolerable, my depression is absent, and my insomnia is not an issue, would I be abusing MMj if I relied on it just to deal with a stressful day? I ask because these are questions I am constantly posing to myself. It's not always easy for me to determine where the line should be drawn.. Marijuana is a drug that doesn't follow the same rules all the time as other medications. It's medicinal properties are benefits of its inebriating function. Aside from pain reduction, it helps manage stress, social anxiety, tension, mood, etc. With limitless medicinal applications, it sometimes becomes extremely difficult to assess the abuse factor.

Currently, I look at it as... if other aspects of my life are in the decline because of an inordinate focus on the obtaining and consumption of MMJ, or if I can't not use it when I don't want to (is that a triple-negative?), then I have crossed the abuse line. Agree? Or is there more to it?

**Leosyndicate** · 10-05-2006, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by labrat

clean for 9days now(again) finally slept good last nite !!! peace lab rat

Welcome, Labrat. I've enjoyed your posts elsewhere.. Glad you could join us. Congrats on the 9 days!! Care to give us more on the story of the LabRat?

10-05-2006, 09:19 AM

endlessky, congrats on 8 years clean and sober. Thats alot to be proud of. As you said you are staying clean for yourself, not for those in NA/AA. Thats the only way a person can truely stay clean. If they want it for themselves. Its not easy getting clean, but nothing really ever is.
I have 4 years clean from cocaine. I tried the whole NA thing and it actually made me feel worse and want to use more. Everyone is different on what will work for them to get and remain clean. I know when I stopped using cocaine, I smoked weed to help the withdrawls. That helped me and I haven't touched the stuff since. I'm sure alot wouldn't understand that, but it helped me get off coke and remain free of it.
You have been and are still going thru so much. My heart goes out to you.

**labrat** · 10-05-2006, 09:31 AM

^^^^ you will get to know the lab rat!!! and you prob will get the lab rat story in due time!!! but it will have to be in segments! for i dont want to crash the server!!!!! peace lab rat

**labrat** · 10-05-2006, 09:33 AM

oh bye the way i have enough N.A. chips to start a casino !!! peace lab rat

**Leosyndicate** · 10-05-2006, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by edi77

endlessky, congrats on 8 years clean and sober. Thats alot to be proud of. As you said you are staying clean for yourself, not for those in NA/AA. Thats the only way a person can truely stay clean. If they want it for themselves. Its not easy getting clean, but nothing really ever is.
I have 4 years clean from cocaine. I tried the whole NA thing and it actually made me feel worse and want to use more. Everyone is different on what will work for them to get and remain clean. I know when I stopped using cocaine, I smoked weed to help the withdrawls. That helped me and I haven't touched the stuff since. I'm sure alot wouldn't understand that, but it helped me get off coke and remain free of it.
You have been and are still going thru so much. My heart goes out to you.

Sweet! 4 yrs off coke! Congrats.

I find it appalling that in many meetings, our various sobriety accomplishments would be dismissed because of weed. There are probably loads of people who have struggled with this.

Thanks for sharing, Edi.

Dustin L.
Off Meth since 1/6/05
Off alcohol since 3/1/05
MMj patient as of 8/10/06

10-05-2006, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leosyndicate

Currently, I look at it as... if other aspects of my life are in the decline because of an inordinate focus on the obtaining and consumption of MMJ, or if I can't not use it when I don't want to (is that a triple-negative?), then I have crossed the abuse line. Agree? Or is there more to it?

Exactly my Point. Abuse or Addiction meet that Criteria. When your life is driven to procure Marijuana above all else, it is time to take a look as to why.
What made you cross that line?
This is the point of Self Awareness, and with groups (AA NA SA ) the point is to give you a regime of support until you become aware or Self Aware. Then you confront your issues one at a time. Wife? Kids? Money? Co-Workers? Pimp on the Corner?.
I am not a big fan of the actual 12 steps, but I take from them what works for me. GOD is Good Orderly Direction. Acceptance of my Addiction, and not being afraid to ask for help.
The meetings are designed to occupy an alcoholics / Addicts time, by giving them a Place to be. Having that Meeting or Group time is a Stable point in their day. Something that doesn't change and they can rely upon.
I have had people tell me back home, they needed off work early for their NA/AA meetings, or a longer lunch hour so they could attend a Noon session. We always encouraged this, and my dad made arraingments with HR for them to be paid for this Hour of recovery. He's 42 years Sober.

**Leosyndicate** · 10-05-2006, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by labrat

oh bye the way i have enough N.A. chips to start a casino !!! peace lab rat

haha.. so do I, cept they're from AA, NA, and CMA. mostly AA..

Sounds like a great idea to me. We can have an MMMM casino night to raise money for compassion giveaways to underfunded patients, using 12-step recovery coins for chips!! haha

10-05-2006, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leosyndicate

haha.. so do I, cept they're from AA, NA, and CMA. mostly AA..

Sounds like a great idea to me. We can have an MMMM casino night to raise money for compassion giveaways to underfunded patients, using 12-step recovery coins for chips!! haha

Any one have any SA chips?

I keep backsliding

Just Kidding...

10-05-2006, 09:48 AM

A big congrats to anyone and everyone clean and sober. Its an awesome feeling.

The Lysergic Projekt · 10-05-2006, 11:25 AM

I have 160 days ( Second time around) clean from a nasty heroin addiction. I still use mmj as my medicine for pain.. no more opiates in my system at all - no more percs from my doctor, tho he still tries to ram them down my throat.

10-05-2006, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lysergic Projekt

I have 160 days ( Second time around) clean from a nasty heroin addiction. I still use mmj as my medicine for pain.. no more opiates in my system at all - no more percs from my doctor, tho he still tries to ram them down my throat.

Tip for the Cramps.. Earl Grey Tea. Make you a mug of EG and add milk.. Helped me with the Oxy withdrawls.
Congrats on the 160 Dayz.. Tomorrow is 161. We'll worry about the rest later.

**Leosyndicate** · 10-05-2006, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lysergic Projekt

I have 160 days ( Second time around) clean from a nasty heroin addiction. I still use mmj as my medicine for pain.. no more opiates in my system at all - no more percs from my doctor, tho he still tries to ram them down my throat.

Congrats! That's a huge accomplishment. Opiates are tough to let go of.

Before I got on MMj, I was taking an unhealthy amount of vicodin. If my doc had his way, I'd still be on it. I think every doctor I've had was vicodin sponsored or something.

Granted.. the pain is intense and sometimes I wouldn't mind having some vics on-hand for emergency. But they stopped refilling my script and I do want to make another appt, sit in the waiting room forever, and go through that whole headache.. I don't have the time for it. Besides, although vic is good for emergencies, MMj is way more effective and healthy-feeling for daily pain reduction.. I'm glad to not be consuming all that APAP Acetomenaphen that they fill up most of the vic pill with. That stuff is murder on the liver..

**Leosyndicate** · 10-05-2006, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kushcollective

Tip for the Cramps.. Earl Grey Tea. Make you a mug of EG and add milk.. Helped me with the Oxy withdrawls.
Congrats on the 160 Dayz.. Tomorrow is 161. We'll worry about the rest later.

Earl Grey? Why does it work? That's interesting...

10-05-2006, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leosyndicate

Earl Grey? Why does it work? That's interesting...

It's Flavored with Bergamont (A Mediterranean Citrus Fruit) Very Pungent Warmth calms the shivers and cramps. I have developed an addiction to it now..

10-05-2006, 12:57 PM

Thank JP

**Leosyndicate** · 10-05-2006, 01:00 PM

Thanks JP, that's all very fascinating... I see depression relief which might come into play...

Anyone try using Kratom to help withdrawals? It's supposed to be pretty effective but can be addictive, itself. I bought some a while back and brewed a strong tea with it.. Made me feel a little sedated... but it was so gross to ingest that I got rid of it before finishing off the bag. Kinda disappointing IMO. MMj worked far better..

endlesssky · 10-05-2006, 05:20 PM

you know i just want to say to all and everyone we all just have today and ani't that the truth, to labrat, my heart hurt;s for youand what your going thru and i want to say don;t give up![ i started to get clean well my first meeting was in 1979], it took me awhile. i didn't get it untill i realized that every decistion i made and everytime i didn;t make it. it effected my son!. i was so self centered that all i thought about was how to make myself feel better no matter what the cost. LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME!!! and what i'm going thru.what i do effects others. and i would rather effect someone positvely than negetivly. you hang in their man. i'll tell you some thing . after my first encounter with mental health therapist ini don;t about 1994 or so. they would not give me another one . in all of mental health no one would take me on . because i was a bitch and i had already had 8 years of therapy under my belt and i was bored. they didn;t have anything i wanted. so i didn;t want tobe there and they wouldn't let me go. so i made them sorry for it . well during that time my mom died, and i asked for a therapist and they said i was a lost cause can you imagine the most fucked up people telling you you were a lost cause tothem. that's what i said any way it's 2006 and i don;t want or need them, don;t get me wrong, they acually helped me in some ways. anyway i did it for me and my son but mostly for me. why? because it's nice to open my eye's in the morning and not say FUCK i'm sill here! now i;m happy it's not easy but it can be done.i changed the way i think about the world and what it has in store for me is just garvy. it;s about how i choose to react to what life gives me and i know forsur life will throw alot of curves so hang in there and don;t give up and you can pm anytime you need to juat vent ot talk it dosn;t matter what just don;t use no matter what hope and you are in my prayers try and have a nice day[ ps i know how you feel i just detox off of pychtropic drugs and man do'es that suck i feel alot better now . so hang in there llol endlsssky

**Leosyndicate** · 10-05-2006, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by endlesssky

anyway i did it for me and my son but mostly for me. why? because it's nice to open my eye's in the morning and not say FUCK i'm sill here! now i;m happy it's not easy but it can be done.

I hear you!! That's why I remain sober, even when I am almost 100% sure that if I picked up again, I could handle it.. I don't pick up because I'm terrified of feeling that way... No matter how hard life is sober, it was exponentially harder in slavery to chemicals.. I now can "Open my eyes in the morning and not say FUCK, I'm still here..." That has got to be the greatest gift of recovery.

996toomey · 06-16-2007, 08:40 PM

Good thread interesting reading. I am new to this board so hello. I have a new recommendation but I have yet to pick up some medication. I have severe scoliosis measured at 80 degrees so pain is a daily occurance. I am concerned about the amount of over the counter and prescribed meds like naproxyn I am taking. I feel like this stuff will eventually eat a hole in my stomach.

My problem is I used to abuse alcohol and smoke recreationally. I knew I had to stop drinking so I stopped everything and have not had any sort of drug or alcohol in 17 years. I discussed the medical mj with my wife and she is against it and I will need her consent before I get any meds and I am also concerned for myself about giving up 17 years of sobriety. Not intending any disrespect to the benefits of medical mj just sharing my situation and concerns.

First post so again hello to all here.

BabyBoomer · 06-16-2007, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 996toomey

Good thread interesting reading. I am new to this board so hello. I have a new recommendation but I have yet to pick up some medication. I have severe scoliosis measured at 80 degrees so pain is a daily occurance. I am concerned about the amount of over the counter and prescribed meds like naproxyn I am taking. I feel like this stuff will eventually eat a hole in my stomach.

My problem is I used to abuse alcohol and smoke recreationally. I knew I had to stop drinking so I stopped everything and have not had any sort of drug or alcohol in 17 years. I discussed the medical mj with my wife and she is against it and I will need her consent before I get any meds and I am also concerned for myself about giving up 17 years of sobriety. Not intending any disrespect to the benefits of medical mj just sharing my situation and concerns.

First post so again hello to all here.

Hi 996toomey,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know you can find a lot of support here.

Please use the following to introduce yourself to the rest of the WT Family.
Meet the WeedTRACKERs
http://www.weedtracker.com/forums/fo...play.php?f=111

And this thread is so old that you will get buried in the archives.

Bless you.

Cyber Hugs,

BabyBoomer

.

10-05-2006, 06:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
endlesssky WT Advanced Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Central Valley, Ca Co-Op: no Vendor: no Patient: yes Posts: 782 Rep Power: 1699	clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! hi, i have been in active recovery for 8 year;s and still counting!!. now most people i know in recovery my disagree with me about how much time i have due to mmj . buy i;m not in recovery for them am i? i'm in recovery for me and we all have indivdual case's of how we stay clean. and i invite them to put themselves in my place and try and live in this skin for awhile and then come and yalk to me about recovery and pain and a thing called supitdy about putting yourself though undue pain, and i think all of us in revovery have had enough pain in this world. and drug;s wer but a symtom of the real problem , which is liveing life on life's terms, with out takeing everything in life personal as a very vendetta just toget in our way!! come on nobody's that important. but we think that way don;t we. so i say when everyone in AA or NA becomes a dr, i might and i mean might maybe listen then.. but untill they have walked in my shoe's . let he without sin cast the first stone!! go ahead smart asses. AA and NA really love to hear themselves talk you just have to sife thoght it is all for all the good stuff thats there. i listen to the message not the messenger. at least itry anyway. i stopped going to meeting's, and i miss them and i miss the dances too. but what can i say. i know they will ask me my sobrity date they always do. fukin nose'e ass holes. their more interested in gossip to really stay clean and contribute to NA as a whole. im done with service work and all that i paid my due's. and where are these so called freinds now !! i've been real sick for about two years now i started to miss meeting , showing up late and leaving early just real sick , i started useing my wheel chair about then and nothing no calls no can i come over to help . no nothing my so called freinds and fellow ship. i need people now but no!! NOnO NO more program thankyou . i.m sick of 12 stepping people that don't want to get clean. they are so full of excuse's it;s pathic. just think that was me once or twice maybe even more than that!!, i stay away from anything that will hurt me except cig;s. if it works for you isay if it an'i't broke don't fix it. that;s all that counts really is if you or me as and indivdual;s are happy in what we have become of ourselves. i am proud of who i am. and of who i will become as time goe's by.i really belive that, do you? i find as long as i;m rigously honest in all my affairs i;m cool. no more turmiol. my therapist is in AA and has been their for forever atleast 25 years. so i tell her everthing. even about the mmj and i have to say her first recaction was to kick me out of group so i agreed because i was not about to stop. so we had a stand off. after about 30 days and seeing me in a wheel chair took the wind out of her sail's and she agreed that i needed it . i told my liver doc and she does'nt have a problem withit and i tell my therapist if i think it's getting

10-05-2006, 08:03 AM	#2 (permalink)
Kushcollective Guest Posts: n/a	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! Okay from someone who has 20+ years sober AA/NA Counselor: Sobriety is a wonderful thing. Your Medication is recommended by your Doctor, and you use it only as needed to relieve your symptoms or Illness. This is not the same as going out and buying an eightball and partying until dawn. I was afraid of Morphine when I had my Neck surgery, I was afraid of the Demerol and Oxycontin from the aftercare. If you are not Abusing Cannabis, you are still considered in my eyes SOBER and SANE. Remember until 1929 Cannabis was used to treat Addiction by mitigating the Withdrawal effects. Don't worry about the 12 steppers.. Some of them have their own agenda. The "Holier than Thou" group always shows at My AA / NA meetings. They are the ones that I feel are the bane of Addiction treatments. Their Criticism is always directed toward others, not themselves. They Perceive GOD as some Superior Omnipotent Being. I see GOD as : Good Orderly Direction (e.g. I have G.O.D. in My life). If you need someone other than your sponsor to talk to. PM me and I'll fire you my phone number. Glenn R I have a five step program: (1) I have a problem with my life, that is why I abused _____________. (2) I will be honest with myself and others. (3) I will Ask for help from Friends and Family when I need it. Everytime I need it. (4) I will not be ashamed of my Illness. (5) I will recover.

10-05-2006, 08:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
Leosyndicate Raising Eyebrows and Lowering Standards Since 1979 Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Orange County, CA Co-Op: No Vendor: yes Patient: YES Posts: 733 Rep Power: 29	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! Endlesssky, thanks for sharing. I can relate to your feelings of abandonment regarding the fellowship in your previous meetings. The funny thing about AA and NA is that they preach acceptance, unity, service, honesty, fellowship, etc. to no end.. But oftentimes the only motive behind such ideals is to save their own skin. They wear their good deeds on their sleeves like brownie-badges. I too, have felt a lack of sincerity in the "fellowship".. It's often very clique-ish and judgmental. People gravitate towards folks who are aggressively upwardly mobile in the way they share. If you don't wield the programmed silver tongue (or like in my case, have evolved to a point where you can no longer spew that rhetoric and be true to yourself), then when you disappear from the scene-- you are not missed. I think that AA and NA offer great tools for the recovering addict, but for me will never be the end-all. The goal of recovery should be gradual self-improvement and freedom from self-destructive compulsive behaviour. A lot of the content I get out of meetings these days does not seem to contribute to my personal journey on those two fronts. Specifically, compassion and tolerance are lacking. To become more compassionate and tolerant, I think for most of us, would entail a kinder state of self-acceptance as well. I want to grow in recovery and broaden my horizons. A quote I've heard batted around at meetings is "The Path to Recovery gets narrower the farther down it, you travel." I want none of that.. There are many paths to choose from and if I cannot see the merit in each of them, then I am letting myself become blinded and judgmental. Glad that you could join us, Sky.. Leosyndicate says..Brilliance is what permeates the darkness Of steady and immeasurable misfortune. It shudders in the corner, feeling tortured By the overriding policy of caution.

10-05-2006, 09:05 AM	#4 (permalink)
labrat Reel stoned Join Date: Jan 2006 Co-Op: no Vendor: no Patient: yes Posts: 4,149 Rep Power: 66455	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! clean for 9days now(again) finally slept good last nite !!! peace lab rat

10-05-2006, 09:19 AM	#7 (permalink)
edi77 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! endlessky, congrats on 8 years clean and sober. Thats alot to be proud of. As you said you are staying clean for yourself, not for those in NA/AA. Thats the only way a person can truely stay clean. If they want it for themselves. Its not easy getting clean, but nothing really ever is. I have 4 years clean from cocaine. I tried the whole NA thing and it actually made me feel worse and want to use more. Everyone is different on what will work for them to get and remain clean. I know when I stopped using cocaine, I smoked weed to help the withdrawls. That helped me and I haven't touched the stuff since. I'm sure alot wouldn't understand that, but it helped me get off coke and remain free of it. You have been and are still going thru so much. My heart goes out to you.

10-05-2006, 09:31 AM	#8 (permalink)
labrat Reel stoned Join Date: Jan 2006 Co-Op: no Vendor: no Patient: yes Posts: 4,149 Rep Power: 66455	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! ^^^^ you will get to know the lab rat!!! and you prob will get the lab rat story in due time!!! but it will have to be in segments! for i dont want to crash the server!!!!! peace lab rat

10-05-2006, 09:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
labrat Reel stoned Join Date: Jan 2006 Co-Op: no Vendor: no Patient: yes Posts: 4,149 Rep Power: 66455	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! oh bye the way i have enough N.A. chips to start a casino !!! peace lab rat

10-05-2006, 09:48 AM	#14 (permalink)
edi77 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! A big congrats to anyone and everyone clean and sober. Its an awesome feeling.

10-05-2006, 11:25 AM	#15 (permalink)
The Lysergic Projekt WT Regular Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Cloud 9 Co-Op: No Vendor: Yes Patient: Yes Posts: 263 Rep Power: 16	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! I have 160 days ( Second time around) clean from a nasty heroin addiction. I still use mmj as my medicine for pain.. no more opiates in my system at all - no more percs from my doctor, tho he still tries to ram them down my throat.

10-05-2006, 12:57 PM	#20 (permalink)
Kushcollective Guest Posts: n/a	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! Thank JP

10-05-2006, 01:00 PM	#21 (permalink)
Leosyndicate Raising Eyebrows and Lowering Standards Since 1979 Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Orange County, CA Co-Op: No Vendor: yes Patient: YES Posts: 733 Rep Power: 29	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! Thanks JP, that's all very fascinating... I see depression relief which might come into play... Anyone try using Kratom to help withdrawals? It's supposed to be pretty effective but can be addictive, itself. I bought some a while back and brewed a strong tea with it.. Made me feel a little sedated... but it was so gross to ingest that I got rid of it before finishing off the bag. Kinda disappointing IMO. MMj worked far better.. Leosyndicate says..Brilliance is what permeates the darkness Of steady and immeasurable misfortune. It shudders in the corner, feeling tortured By the overriding policy of caution.

10-05-2006, 05:20 PM	#22 (permalink)
endlesssky WT Advanced Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Central Valley, Ca Co-Op: no Vendor: no Patient: yes Posts: 782 Rep Power: 1699	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! you know i just want to say to all and everyone we all just have today and ani't that the truth, to labrat, my heart hurt;s for youand what your going thru and i want to say don;t give up![ i started to get clean well my first meeting was in 1979], it took me awhile. i didn't get it untill i realized that every decistion i made and everytime i didn;t make it. it effected my son!. i was so self centered that all i thought about was how to make myself feel better no matter what the cost. LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME!!! and what i'm going thru.what i do effects others. and i would rather effect someone positvely than negetivly. you hang in their man. i'll tell you some thing . after my first encounter with mental health therapist ini don;t about 1994 or so. they would not give me another one . in all of mental health no one would take me on . because i was a bitch and i had already had 8 years of therapy under my belt and i was bored. they didn;t have anything i wanted. so i didn;t want tobe there and they wouldn't let me go. so i made them sorry for it . well during that time my mom died, and i asked for a therapist and they said i was a lost cause can you imagine the most fucked up people telling you you were a lost cause tothem. that's what i said any way it's 2006 and i don;t want or need them, don;t get me wrong, they acually helped me in some ways. anyway i did it for me and my son but mostly for me. why? because it's nice to open my eye's in the morning and not say FUCK i'm sill here! now i;m happy it's not easy but it can be done.i changed the way i think about the world and what it has in store for me is just garvy. it;s about how i choose to react to what life gives me and i know forsur life will throw alot of curves so hang in there and don;t give up and you can pm anytime you need to juat vent ot talk it dosn;t matter what just don;t use no matter what hope and you are in my prayers try and have a nice day[ ps i know how you feel i just detox off of pychtropic drugs and man do'es that suck i feel alot better now . so hang in there llol endlsssky

06-16-2007, 08:40 PM	#24 (permalink)
996toomey High, I'm New Join Date: Jun 2007 Co-Op: no Vendor: no Patient: yes Posts: 1 Rep Power: 0	Re: clean and sober 8 year;s and counting!! Good thread interesting reading. I am new to this board so hello. I have a new recommendation but I have yet to pick up some medication. I have severe scoliosis measured at 80 degrees so pain is a daily occurance. I am concerned about the amount of over the counter and prescribed meds like naproxyn I am taking. I feel like this stuff will eventually eat a hole in my stomach. My problem is I used to abuse alcohol and smoke recreationally. I knew I had to stop drinking so I stopped everything and have not had any sort of drug or alcohol in 17 years. I discussed the medical mj with my wife and she is against it and I will need her consent before I get any meds and I am also concerned for myself about giving up 17 years of sobriety. Not intending any disrespect to the benefits of medical mj just sharing my situation and concerns. First post so again hello to all here.

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