How are you all holding up? Well, I thought it would be nice idea to have a supportive thread so we can check in and see how everyone is doing. Need a shoulder to cry on? Do it here. Want to rant about your condition? Do so here. Have any suggestions/advice for each other, well let this thread be the place for you.



Best,
MRT

[tloctwisted]

Hello all I'm checking in hope all is well with my fellow WTR's how's everyone?
Take care
trish

really crappy. but oh well,

BAH! very unhappy with my psychiatrist and now have to look for a new one. such a waste of money!

other than that my anxiety has been a bit better later. plus, i haven't had a PD for months! :)

Originally Posted by MadRiverTurtle

really crappy. but oh well,

Is this thread for just mental illness? because my back killing me.

what is wrong, sweetie? my advice, cheer up Buttercup. Talk to us.

this is mental illness, so i would suggest you guys make one for pain management. its a nice way to just vent about whats going on with your illness, especially if you don't have any questions and just need to let some steam off.


but the "crappy" post was a while back. i'm okay :) thank you for asking. just tired of doctors and them not knowing anything. i think i've had 10 different diagnosis and the doctors can't agree on much. so i just take lamictal for now. but even then thats $300/month. ouch!

:)

[karatestereo]

Originally Posted by MadRiverTurtle

BAH! very unhappy with my psychiatrist and now have to look for a new one. such a waste of money!

other than that my anxiety has been a bit better later. plus, i haven't had a PD for months! :)

Keep the faith. It took me 10 years to find a psych who actually had my welfare in mind. It will happen for you, too; if you are stubborn enough. ;)

Peace

[Misanthropy]

Things are a little better for me lately. I've been working more consistently. recently received a decent raise at work. Finally starting to deal more with the loss of a loved one from about two years ago. My physical health is better and my mental health is following.

Originally Posted by Misanthropy

My physical health is better and my mental health is following.

glad to hear it!

[SanDiegoGirl]

Originally Posted by MadRiverTurtle

i think i've had 10 different diagnosis and the doctors can't agree on much. so i just take lamictal for now. but even then thats $300/month. ouch!:)

It is a shame that the medical profession has become so much more profit driven than healing driven. And that ten different doctors will give you ten different answers.

After many years of care, I have finally found that the right strains of cannabis work wonders for my symptoms and have completely weaned off all pharmacy meds-- finally with my doctor's blessing. He just needed to be educated about the benefits of cannabis, since they forgot to do that at his medical school.

Doctor's training is so pharmacy driven that if you need alternative treatment, they are too scared of going against their training, or getting into legal trouble, to talk about alternative therapies such as medical cannabis... so even if you are suffering and would benefit from cannabis, they don't want to tell you. It's very self serving.

When I finally started questioning my doctor about his training, I realized that talking about my symptoms got me nowhere. It was when I focused my attention on my doctors training, I could easily see where things had gone wrong and what treatment I really needed.

I take the entire medical community with a big grain of salt. I let them know that I will make any final decision on my care, they can advise, that's it.

I feel much better since I have put myself in the driver's seat of my own care. When I left my doctor in the driver's seat, I was seriously disappointed.

Wishing you, MadRiverTurtle, and the rest of those on this thread, the best in navagating through the medical system...

[mariathelion9]

Originally Posted by Misanthropy

Things are a little better for me lately. I've been working more consistently. recently received a decent raise at work. Finally starting to deal more with the loss of a loved one from about two years ago. My physical health is better and my mental health is following.

My heart goes out to you for your loss. I too lost someone-to suicide in 2001. It gets better or more normal, but I don't think the wound ever completely heals. I know for a long time I just wanted the whole world to stop for just a moment to recognize a hero had fallen.Congrats on the raise.

[Lou Weed]

This thread has been really comforting, I'm thankful for everybody's candor because depression and anxiety can be dreadfully lonely.

Talking about it bugs me. My particular bouts involve massive, head-long falls into utter anhedonia. For someone who isn't too fond of Nietzsche, it's quite the departure from me. This is one of my more desolate bouts. Extenuating circumstances. Feeling guilty because it could be so much worse.

I don't make it anywhere on time. I notice that the anhedonia extends to medicating as well; I've hardly touched any medicine and haven't been near a collective in quite some time.

So ...thanks for this thread. I've had to work myself up to post in here but I'm glad I did.

Thinking of removing myself from my current situation for a brief spell for some perspective and distance from a lot of things that are compounding this episode.

Anhedonia is the pits... The worst part of it, for me at least, is withdrawing from friends. But I'm grateful that my loved ones know my moods better than I do. If they know I'm not feeling well enough to even pick up the phone I end up with the best, funniest voicemails ever. (btw- I <3 your Nietzsche reference!)


Many thanks to you all for posting. I'm glad this thread took off. Please, please come and share whenever.

[Lou Weed]

I find that I withdraw a lot when I can't be arsed to keep up the charade for myself, which means that I'm surely not going to play-act for anybody else's benefit. I stop communicating, and it's definitely self-defeating. (Usually, I justify it as, "God, I can't stand my own mind today, it seems almost abusive to expose it to people I actually like.") I mean, I owe how many of you PM's? Dinner? I know. It's altruism gone awry.

Usually, I combat these tendencies with pet-projects; one of my conditions has common co-morbidity with depression, and when pet-projects aren't very satisfying, it's torture. I'm always studying a language I'm not very familiar with or attempting to improve the languages I've picked up, or thoroughly researching something. Thankfully, one of my favorite professors has resumed teaching and as luck would have it, one of his courses meets tonight! It's the first time I've looked forward to something in ages, so hopefully I'll be on the upswing soon.

Looking forward to something. Yeah, it's going to get better.

[highinsp]

just wanted to send some positive vibrations your way (LOU)...hope you feel better...high

[Misanthropy]

Originally Posted by Lou Weed

I find that I withdraw a lot when I can't be arsed to keep up the charade for myself, which means that I'm surely not going to play-act for anybody else's benefit. I stop communicating, and it's definitely self-defeating. (Usually, I justify it as, "God, I can't stand my own mind today, it seems almost abusive to expose it to people I actually like.") I mean, I owe how many of you PM's? Dinner? I know. It's altruism gone awry.

Usually, I combat these tendencies with pet-projects; one of my conditions has common co-morbidity with depression, and when pet-projects aren't very satisfying, it's torture. I'm always studying a language I'm not very familiar with or attempting to improve the languages I've picked up, or thoroughly researching something. Thankfully, one of my favorite professors has resumed teaching and as luck would have it, one of his courses meets tonight! It's the first time I've looked forward to something in ages, so hopefully I'll be on the upswing soon.

Looking forward to something. Yeah, it's going to get better.

Go get'um Lou! I know how difficult it can be getting out there while depressed. I usually stick with anything that can truly motivate me to get me out of my apartment and interacting with others. Hopeing everything goes well for you tonight.

[joe-schmoe]

If it werent for weedtracker and all the information i have learned along with the medecine i have recieved in the last few months.. its has made life alot easier for me. I dont have to deal with that cloud of depression hanging over as much as i have in the past. I dont wake up in the morning and feel like life's not worth it anymore.. I have a steady job now and have been able to keep up in school now to.. cannabis has helped me get my life into shape and out of the habits i used to go through everyday..I know longer have to try and finds ways of escaping it and now with out the withdrawl from prozac and pharmaceuticals like that things have been much better for me..!!
-Thanks to all of you on weedtracker

[tloctwisted]

Hello everyone, just wanted to check in.... I have not been on top of checking in and staying in touch... I to find this thread comforting. I know I am not alone even when I feel like I am. Lou thanks for reaching out to me in the other post it made a huge difference to me... Please know that!! I try to stay focused and I know how hard it is to do..... I can't believe that I am flying back this saturday already for court on monday....My mind is bouncing and I am really frustrated over the fact that people can say what ever they want and it is ok. I miss my daughter alot right now and I have not talked to her for over a week since they filed all that paperwork against me to say I am unfit and that I am a drug addict......it is sad that no matter what I do someone can always say that it is not good enough and they can get away with it for the time being......I have raised all my kids since they were born and for someone now to say I can not is beyond any reasoning,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Lou Weed]

I hope nobody is afraid of this thread. While I am very aware that 'outing' yourself in the Mental Illness forum can seem threatening, I want all of you to know that depression is one of those co-morbidity things and doesn't mean what it used to. Posting here doesn't mean you're a candidate for olde-tyme methods of managing 'hysteria', like, oh, a lobotomy - it just means that this is a sacred place to avoid the hustle-and-bustle of forums and threads dedicated to other things outside of ourselves.

T, I'm pulling for you and so are a great deal of other folks here and in your life outside of WT. You're going to get through this. We all stand better chances of getting through it than not. Even if the authorities are making our lives more difficult, we don't have to make each other's lives more difficult, and that's incredibly important. Big hugs to you and everybody else reading or posting in this forum/thread.

As for myself, I'm doing way better. Still having moments of "OMG AUUUUGH", but it's getting easier to reach out and take things into account for what they should be.

Do something nice for yourself today. Take 5 minutes. Remember the good so that you might take it with the .. well, less-good.

Originally Posted by tloctwisted

Hello everyone, just wanted to check in

Originally Posted by tloctwisted

....it is sad that no matter what I do someone can always say that it is not good enough and they can get away with it for the time being......

Here is to you T, hope that no one comes along and steals your sunshine

Originally Posted by Lou Weed

Do something nice for yourself today. Take 5 minutes. Remember the good so that you might take it with the .. well, less-good.

That advice is spot on and all too rarely implemented by those that need it most. Redecorating/re-arranging my house sometimes helps me. Especially if I'm in one of my 'escaping' moods.

[halosmoker420]

Props to the MadRiverTurtle for posting this thread! Just for you dawg, I'm going to take some pictures of the Mad River this weekend when I go up, and post them here, I know you miss it! Lou!!!!!!!! Great to hear from you man. Sounds like your really on the right track and living life large (languages, education, projects) you probably are 10 times more productive then I am. That's awesome. I just want to send some positive waves in everyone's direction. Especially those dealing with mental health challenges, it can be daunting. Keep strong, move forward, and focus on positive things. Peace and Love to you all!

P.S. This thread has helped me to appreciate things so much more. I struggle with physical ailments, and forget that mental health can be so much more of a challenge at times. Keep strong folks....heads up!

[mariathelion9]

Today I am mourning the loss of my best friend Patches. Abeautiful Australian Cattle dog. I am beyond depressed. He died yesterday a about 5pm yesterday. He was struck by a car. He never breaked nor slowed down.

We drank ourselves to sleep last night. I called the people who knew him, to let them know, and to get it over with. I am distraught with grief. While I usually walk them on a leash, I took them to a grassy spot that we'd been to before. Not much traffic on weekends, and the sidewalk is protected by a guardrail and some oleander bushes. He got way ahead of me and I was distracted by Pepper, the one I normally have to keep an eye on, when he went byond the rail and into the street. Patches was never the one to run into the street. Why he did I don't know. But ultimately, I didn't keep him safe.

Danielle and Greg some good samaritans stopped to help Patches and put a blanket on him. They helped me put him in my truck. He was DOA at the vet. I am still in shock.

I am afraid to medicate because I don't know if it will make me feel worse. I just started using MMJ for generalized depression about two months ago. But this is different. I am seriously in emotional pain, grieving.

You can see Patches at the Pet Photo thread in the off topic section. Patches was the most gentle, loving, and protective boy. His love, antics, personality, and affection have changed me forever in the most positive ways. I miss and love him forever, never to be forgotten. Just say his name send him a kiss, and say, "Patches your mommy really thought the world of you.You will be in her heart forever."

Thanks to all....
"...Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man, wihtout his Vices" Lord Byron's tribute to the Memory of Botswain, a Dog, is also fitting for my Best Friend PATCHES
RIP January 2001-29 September 2007

Maria,

I'm so sorry about your loss, especially the sudden manner in which it occurred. This reminds me of the quote "“Every one can master a grief but he that has it” (Shakespeare).


I think you're right in questioning the use of MMJ at such a highly emotional time. IMHO, drinking can be worse. Try to avoid alcohol if possible because it can produce a depressant effect on mood (plus, its not good for sleeping). As with all mental illnesses, dosage and needs vary on a case by case basis. If I were in your position I would probably opt for a strong indica or hash oil to ensure rest.

Please don't burden yourself with guilt from the accident. It's easy to fall into the "I should have been more careful" but it can lead to faulty, erroneous beliefs. Depression is a natural reaction to grief but it can also be a healthy, healing process. If you ever want to chat feel free to PM me. And keep posting, we're here for you :)

[Lou Weed]

Maria, my deepest sympathies to you on your loss. Mercy for the meek.

Isn't it funny how some of us have a difficult time caring for ourselves, yet we lavish attention and draw so much hope and support from an animal that depends on us? It seems to me that they're a constant kick in the ass to try harder. Some people say this in regard to having children, too, that they never realized how much their actions (or lack thereof) and the consequences therein were seemingly for naught until another living creature needed them to act with clarity, responsibility and accountability.

I had a pet that I more or less credit with saving my life in that manner. I think about him every day and he passed well over 10 years ago now. He wasn't even 3 pounds and wasn't one of the more, shall we say, animate or interactive animals one could own, but man, he did it nonetheless.

I also find it incredibly powerful that you're considering slowing or halting your cannabis consumption while you grieve. Whatever your choice, we are all here for you. You're enduring a change in how you live and cope and I think it speaks volumes of how life with Patches has shaped your character. Sounds like your learned a lot from one another. May your transition be as comfortable as possible.

If you need anything, please get in touch with some of us individually. Always feel free to keep us up to date on this thread, I know that's one reason why MRT has taken so much care to keep it on-topic and a safe-haven for the folks it applies to.

My most recent journey into "I could use an animal friend" hasn't amounted to anything yet. I've got the fish tank, I'm just having a difficult time obtaining something to live in the darn thing. I'm working on it.

[kevinpatrick]

Originally Posted by mariathelion9

Today I am mourning the loss of my best friend Patches. Abeautiful Australian Cattle dog. I am beyond depressed. He died yesterday a about 5pm yesterday. He was struck by a car. He never breaked nor slowed down.

We drank ourselves to sleep last night. I called the people who knew him, to let them know, and to get it over with. I am distraught with grief. While I usually walk them on a leash, I took them to a grassy spot that we'd been to before. Not much traffic on weekends, and the sidewalk is protected by a guardrail and some oleander bushes. He got way ahead of me and I was distracted by Pepper, the one I normally have to keep an eye on, when he went byond the rail and into the street. Patches was never the one to run into the street. Why he did I don't know. But ultimately, I didn't keep him safe.

Danielle and Greg some good samaritans stopped to help Patches and put a blanket on him. They helped me put him in my truck. He was DOA at the vet. I am still in shock.

I am afraid to medicate because I don't know if it will make me feel worse. I just started using MMJ for generalized depression about two months ago. But this is different. I am seriously in emotional pain, grieving.

You can see Patches at the Pet Photo thread in the off topic section. Patches was the most gentle, loving, and protective boy. His love, antics, personality, and affection have changed me forever in the most positive ways. I miss and love him forever, never to be forgotten. Just say his name send him a kiss, and say, "Patches your mommy really thought the world of you.You will be in her heart forever."

Thanks to all....
"...Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man, wihtout his Vices" Lord Byron's tribute to the Memory of Botswain, a Dog, is also fitting for my Best Friend PATCHES
RIP January 2001-29 September 2007

im so soryy i had a similiar situation about 4-5 years ago with sprinkles . i too took it on my shoulders for a long time i finally got another puppy lucky about three months ago . my girl took offf with my puppy . man i wish the dog would come back