[codeman420]

Its starting to feel all to common i post a thread in need of advice or help. I guess it started 3 months ago. My work was going slow and they cut a day of pay every week. A few months after I find myself being dumped by my girlfriend of 5 years, and moving out from her and her daughter. I picked up a second job for nights and weekends, then got written up at my main job and given 3 days off no pay, for my attitude. Im vomiting every night and morning, enjoying my symptoms of GERD and IBS. Miscellaneous other things, problems non stop with the car or apartment sucking $400 a month since ive moved out has just drawn me into debt, no matter how much i work.

I start looking for other jobs now realizing 7 years after I graduated high school I have done shit with my life, obtaining a A+ certification and good work experience at a place Ive come to despise. IM realizing im making as much as people with 4 year degrees.. how can i change jobs.. Most people my age are getting married, having kids, and buying houses. Yet im here, not doing what I want to do in life.

I guess its come to a point. I feel all that ive worked and loved is gone, and no matter how damn hard I try to do what is right, and succeed.. i get sucked down this black hole.
I haven't felt this way for years.. and im afraid i wont get out.

I wrote this in a poem.. only realizing what summarizes me kindly..

"Still I stand their at the door pointing and laughing at a pitiful sucker that has come to believe his world has turned dark, only realizing this person I mock is myself."



thoughts? opinions? storys? comments? anything? Im feeling alone on this one...

[pokealotasmot]

Times will turn around man. And you said you graduated high school 7 yrs ago, so you are only around 25. It is perfectly alright to not know what you want to do as a profession at this point in life. I know more than a handful of ppl that have completely changed careers way later than 25. Things will get better, just stay positive.

[luckydog]

I had an older cousin tell me once in my early 20's.....
"wait until you turn 25 , then you stare into the abyss"
I felt the same way. Hey man yur young, that's a plus.
I personally know a couple of folks in their 40's in similar positions. Unemployed 'cus of the economy. One is a chiropractor that's had to shut down a practice. Times are tough. I am very underemployed now as well.
But it's just......life. Things aren't always easy. But things always change. Don't give up hope, things will change , just prolly not as fast as you would like.
Very few of us are blessed with a stress free gold brick road through life.

[ps-med]

I've been there. I've been gainfully employed and then out of work so often that my SSI payment history is all over the map. I moved away from my family and friends only to end up splitting up with my girlfriend less than a year later, changing jobs, and moving (all within a few weeks of each other). I've been horribly depressed and yet somehow just kept telling myself that things would change, that they had to change.

I wish that I could tell you something more than "wait it out", but seriously...this too will pass. Coming from someone that has been through very similar situations, things will change--they may get worse before they get better but they will get better.

For what its worth...just be patient, try not to focus on what you don't have or what you think you should have, try to focus on the things that you do have. Give yourself a week for things to change and if that isn't enough give yourself another week. Music is sometimes helpful for depression, as is St. John Wort (but it has sun sensitivety side effects), getting some sun and a little exercise is also helpful.

You are not alone! Things will get better!

[DLOTTE]

bro mann, your not alone, we as men go thru shit but around 25 we have a sonic boom??
its us pulling our heads out of our asses and see life a little differently. all i can say is work on the inner dude, learn how to accept things that you cannot change and most of all ...learn how to move on no matter what....easier said than done, but you can !!!
i have issues now and bro. and i just keep truckin, you just writing this is a step forward !!!
i know i felt better after i wrote,talked aboutit...
peace and wisdom bro...

[DLOTTE]

Originally Posted by ps-med

I've been there. I've been gainfully employed and then out of work so often that my SSI payment history is all over the map. I moved away from my family and friends only to end up splitting up with my girlfriend less than a year later, changing jobs, and moving (all within a few weeks of each other). I've been horribly depressed and yet somehow just kept telling myself that things would change, that they had to change.

I wish that I could tell you something more than "wait it out", but seriously...this too will pass. Coming from someone that has been through very similar situations, things will change--they may get worse before they get better but they will get better.

For what its worth...just be patient, try not to focus on what you don't have or what you think you should have, try to focus on the things that you do have. Give yourself a week for things to change and if that isn't enough give yourself another week. Music is sometimes helpful for depression, as is St. John Wort (but it has sun sensitivety side effects), getting some sun and a little exercise is also helpful.

You are not alone! Things will get better!

[luckydog]

[QUOTE=codeman420;1129523]

I start looking for other jobs now realizing 7 years after I graduated high school I have done shit with my life, obtaining a A+ certification and good work experience at a place Ive come to despise.
I haven't felt this way for years.. and im afraid i wont get out.
QUOTE]

reading through one more time, I wanted to address this and be a little more candid w/ you. I have been in my current profession for 12 years . Enjoyed to start with and was on track to do six figures. With the drop in the economy and changing regulations I have been all but squeezed out of my job. At 42 I'm trying to reasses what my options are. So yeah , I've been a little depressed. I have found some regular exercise and taking walks with the dog to be therapeutic.

[DLOTTE]

Originally Posted by codeman420

Its starting to feel all to common i post a thread in need of advice or help. I guess it started 3 months ago. My work was going slow and they cut a day of pay every week. A few months after I find myself being dumped by my girlfriend of 5 years, and moving out from her and her daughter. I picked up a second job for nights and weekends, then got written up at my main job and given 3 days off no pay, for my attitude. Im vomiting every night and morning, enjoying my symptoms of GERD and IBS. Miscellaneous other things, problems non stop with the car or apartment sucking $400 a month since ive moved out has just drawn me into debt, no matter how much i work.

I start looking for other jobs now realizing 7 years after I graduated high school I have done shit with my life, obtaining a A+ certification and good work experience at a place Ive come to despise. IM realizing im making as much as people with 4 year degrees.. how can i change jobs.. Most people my age are getting married, having kids, and buying houses. Yet im here, not doing what I want to do in life.

I guess its come to a point. I feel all that ive worked and loved is gone, and no matter how damn hard I try to do what is right, and succeed.. i get sucked down this black hole.
I haven't felt this way for years.. and im afraid i wont get out.

I wrote this in a poem.. only realizing what summarizes me kindly..

"Still I stand their at the door pointing and laughing at a pitiful sucker that has come to believe his world has turned dark, only realizing this person I mock is myself."



thoughts? opinions? storys? comments? anything? Im feeling alone on this one...

"WE ARE NOT ALONE BRO, "
nothing done over nite and nothing comes easy, patience bro

[Scullycat]

I think what others have written is true, about men your age feeling this way. My son just turned 24 and he's having a terrible time with anxiety and depression, completely at sea as to what to do with his life from here on. I know that hearing that your pain isn't unusual doesn't make it feel any better or hurt any less. But please, I beg you, don't give up hope and don't give up on yourself! I've been thru it as have many of your friends here, and you can always turn to us if you want to. Feel free to PM me any time.

[luckydog]

[QUOTE=DLOTTE;1129596] all i can say is work on the inner dude,QUOTE]


Excellent advice! Get a hold of a Big Lebowski dvd and everything will seem better.

[*SWEETLEAF*]

Take heart for somebody always has worse problems than you do. Man I could imagine what's it like going through what you've explained. I've been through a lot myself..a couple of the same things that happened to you + a death + 20 x's more b.s. Than you could imagine..I gotta learn something from my trials and tribulations I've been through..I feel for you brother..you can do it..I know it throws your life completely off when things happen with girlfriends, etc..things will get better..try learning how to clear your thoughts if they are that much of a problem..again, I can relate..been there and done that..turns out I'm still alive and things are getting better for me day by day..stay up bro

[shecky7]

Codeman,
I feel for you because the loneliness of feeling like you aren't getting any love is f'ed up. I try and look to the friends to break the depressive ruts and what I do is when I get really bummed I will start thinking all sorts of a little over the top thoughts and I will think about it and dissect the thought and realize 'that isn't true.' And tell myself so.
Hope it helped to post your frustrations!

[hydemydro]

everyone gets the blues, things will change...keep your head up

[silvercloud]

If you don't already hav man's best friend ,either get one ,or at least make frequent visits to the dogpark ~ you will find many furry friends there that will take you away from personal issues and offer to help fill the emptiness ~

It is said "time is the best healer" ~ take heed and stay fit to survive ~ that is all

[superface13]

Hey Bro.

I went through the same thing in my twenties.....and then again in my thirties. I've gone from being a cook, to forest ranger, to teacher, to business owner,and back to teacher in the past 15 years. I'll be 39 next week In the meantime I married the love of my life and had two kids. Life's crazy. You never really know what will happen next. The bad times never last and make the good times seem that much better.

[Big K R]

Try reading the book and talking to God. It has helped me since 2000 when I was diagnose with Cancer. God bless

[konj]

"smile though your heart is aching. when there are clouds in the sky you will find that life is still worth while. if you just smile" - micheal jackson

i have a few freinds that deal with depresion and theyre fighters they can get to a low point but they have incredible perseverence. sure enough theyre will power pulls em through and life geos on. we all have to see that the glass is half full and that its half empty its not "either" "or" its "both" "and." you have depresion "and" you are hopefull. its not i'm depressed "or" i am anxious. my old sensei once told me this.

[Thraxz]

Things will get better, I struggle daily with deppresion. I have PTSD and have seen and been threw some difficult times.. What keeps me going is me, I dont like the world I live in sometimes But I am sure glad to be alive.. I have come to realize that the only gaurantee we get is we are going to die.. Everything in between is up to us..
At 25 30 35 and 40, I struggled to find some meaning. Some since of self and direction.. So when you are discouraged and feeling down, That is natural and remember this.. We are human beings with feelings that are meant to be felt and expressed, dont hide them and keep things to yourself. Be open and let someone know how you feel.... That is a good way to get that which bothers you off your chest!!

I hope today is a good day for you and that you find something today that makes you happy!! Tomorow might not come and yesterday has been and gone, Today has enough of its own trials to think about and focus on.. Be glad that you have the chance to get threw those trials, Because without the bad we can never appreciate the good!!


Stay Green!!


Attached a picture of something I found to make me happy!! Gold panning!! Lytle Creek.. Theres gold in them there hills.. Went to San Gabriel River this weekend found a half gram!!

[MrKindHerb]

Good times will come again.

YouTube - Latch Key Kid - Good Times

just keep following your dreams... no matter how tough it all may seems.
You have the wt community to support you in your times of need.

[codeman420]

Holy massive replys!

You guys (and girls) are really awesome. I'd like to say im cured instantly because you have all made some great post with great advice, and woke me up out of this cloud. Still day by day, but this thread put me miles ahead of where i was yesterday. Couldn't thank you all enough for that. Your all really awesome to share as much as you did.. :)
Responses:

[QUOTE=luckydog;1129627]

Originally Posted by DLOTTE

all i can say is work on the inner dude,QUOTE]

Excellent advice! Get a hold of a Big Lebowski dvd and everything will seem better.

LOL! I watched it last night after i saw your post haha.. good advice there :)

Originally Posted by *SWEETLEAF*

Take heart for somebody always has worse problems than you do. Man I could imagine what's it like going through what you've explained. I've been through a lot myself..a couple of the same things that happened to you + a death + 20 x's more b.s. Than you could imagine..I gotta learn something from my trials and tribulations I've been through..I feel for you brother..you can do it..I know it throws your life completely off when things happen with girlfriends, etc..things will get better..try learning how to clear your thoughts if they are that much of a problem..again, I can relate..been there and done that..turns out I'm still alive and things are getting better for me day by day..stay up bro

Thanks man. Your right, others have been through worse.. It seems so simple to clear your thoughts when they become a problem like you say, but yet i totally forgot i could.. graci!

Originally Posted by shecky7

Codeman,
I feel for you because the loneliness of feeling like you aren't getting any love is f'ed up. I try and look to the friends to break the depressive ruts and what I do is when I get really bummed I will start thinking all sorts of a little over the top thoughts and I will think about it and dissect the thought and realize 'that isn't true.' And tell myself so.
Hope it helped to post your frustrations!:

Surprisingly... yes it did.. but dont think I would have felt the same without all of your guys supporting responses. You did help me realize i was doing the same thing, thinking over the top thoughts on little things.. helps put things in perspective. thankyou.

Originally Posted by hydemydro

everyone gets the blues, things will change...keep your head up

Thanks bud :)

Originally Posted by silvercloud

If you don't already hav man's best friend ,either get one ,or at least make frequent visits to the dogpark ~ you will find many furry friends there that will take you away from personal issues and offer to help fill the emptiness ~

It is said "time is the best healer" ~ take heed and stay fit to survive ~ that is all

That made me LOL haha.. I get to see all three of my dogs in two weeks! Really excited about that :) Thank you.

Originally Posted by superface13

Hey Bro.

I went through the same thing in my twenties.....and then again in my thirties. I've gone from being a cook, to forest ranger, to teacher, to business owner,and back to teacher in the past 15 years. I'll be 39 next week In the meantime I married the love of my life and had two kids. Life's crazy. You never really know what will happen next. The bad times never last and make the good times seem that much better.

Man that is just down right cool to hear right there. I feel like I need to pick one career and that's what I do forever. Maybe that is why im having such a hard time deciding what I want to do.. seems all to permanent. Thanks for posting, i got a lot of insight from it,

Originally Posted by Big K R

Try reading the book and talking to God. It has helped me since 2000 when I was diagnose with Cancer. God bless

My thoughts and prayers are with you, maybe short, but was a strong smack in the face i needed. Thank you.

Originally Posted by konj

"smile though your heart is aching. when there are clouds in the sky you will find that life is still worth while. if you just smile" - micheal jackson

i have a few freinds that deal with depresion and theyre fighters they can get to a low point but they have incredible perseverence. sure enough theyre will power pulls em through and life geos on. we all have to see that the glass is half full and that its half empty its not "either" "or" its "both" "and." you have depresion "and" you are hopefull. its not i'm depressed "or" i am anxious. my old sensei once told me this.

I totally get what your saying here. Has a lot to do with how you think and perceive these feelings. Wo, great advice man, thankyou

Originally Posted by Thraxz

Things will get better, I struggle daily with deppresion. I have PTSD and have seen and been threw some difficult times.. What keeps me going is me, I dont like the world I live in sometimes But I am sure glad to be alive.. I have come to realize that the only gaurantee we get is we are going to die.. Everything in between is up to us..
At 25 30 35 and 40, I struggled to find some meaning. Some since of self and direction.. So when you are discouraged and feeling down, That is natural and remember this.. We are human beings with feelings that are meant to be felt and expressed, dont hide them and keep things to yourself. Be open and let someone know how you feel.... That is a good way to get that which bothers you off your chest!!

I hope today is a good day for you and that you find something today that makes you happy!! Tomorow might not come and yesterday has been and gone, Today has enough of its own trials to think about and focus on.. Be glad that you have the chance to get threw those trials, Because without the bad we can never appreciate the good!!


Stay Green!!


Attached a picture of something I found to make me happy!! Gold panning!! Lytle Creek.. Theres gold in them there hills.. Went to San Gabriel River this weekend found a half gram!!

Couldn't thank you enough for sharing all that. I feel for you on this depression, man it sucks.. But like you said "i dont like the world i live in, but am sure glad to be alive" i think that is a awesome freakin quote! Im going to remember that. Half gram of gold!? No kidding, got to find myself a pan! haah, thank you for posting this.

Originally Posted by MrKindHerb

Good times will come again.

YouTube - Latch Key Kid - Good Times

just keep following your dreams... no matter how tough it all may seems.
You have the wt community to support you in your times of need.

:) That song is awesome, amazing how that can get you to smile so quickly..

thanks man

[codeman420]

PAGE 2 (for some reason they didint all go on one, I think i got everyone)

Originally Posted by pokealotasmot

Times will turn around man. And you said you graduated high school 7 yrs ago, so you are only around 25. It is perfectly alright to not know what you want to do as a profession at this point in life. I know more than a handful of ppl that have completely changed careers way later than 25. Things will get better, just stay positive.

I got so wrapped up in the fact of the matter i guess i lose sense in reality. Thanks I didint realize it until you said it. Thank you

Originally Posted by luckydog

I had an older cousin tell me once in my early 20's.....
"wait until you turn 25 , then you stare into the abyss"
I felt the same way. Hey man yur young, that's a plus.
I personally know a couple of folks in their 40's in similar positions. Unemployed 'cus of the economy. One is a chiropractor that's had to shut down a practice. Times are tough. I am very underemployed now as well.
But it's just......life. Things aren't always easy. But things always change. Don't give up hope, things will change , just prolly not as fast as you would like.
Very few of us are blessed with a stress free gold brick road through life.

Ive been thinking about that quote you said bold above.. since i read it. Im like..ya man exactly staring at the abyss.. I dont know what happens at 25 for men, i cant explain this..but its as you said life. I dig. thanks man.

Originally Posted by ps-med

I've been there. I've been gainfully employed and then out of work so often that my SSI payment history is all over the map. I moved away from my family and friends only to end up splitting up with my girlfriend less than a year later, changing jobs, and moving (all within a few weeks of each other). I've been horribly depressed and yet somehow just kept telling myself that things would change, that they had to change.

I wish that I could tell you something more than "wait it out", but seriously...this too will pass. Coming from someone that has been through very similar situations, things will change--they may get worse before they get better but they will get better.

For what its worth...just be patient, try not to focus on what you don't have or what you think you should have, try to focus on the things that you do have. Give yourself a week for things to change and if that isn't enough give yourself another week. Music is sometimes helpful for depression, as is St. John Wort (but it has sun sensitivety side effects), getting some sun and a little exercise is also helpful.

You are not alone! Things will get better!

That is some crazy things you went through man. I got a lot of positive vibes from your post, and take your advice to heart.. thank you

Originally Posted by Scullycat

I think what others have written is true, about men your age feeling this way. My son just turned 24 and he's having a terrible time with anxiety and depression, completely at sea as to what to do with his life from here on. I know that hearing that your pain isn't unusual doesn't make it feel any better or hurt any less. But please, I beg you, don't give up hope and don't give up on yourself! I've been thru it as have many of your friends here, and you can always turn to us if you want to. Feel free to PM me any time.

Must be something there, about 23 i really re-started the depression thing and this time accompanied by a ton of anxiety. You must be a awesome mom, havent seen mine in over a year and am about to shortly. I lived with her when i was 21-23 when i went through that crazy stage of depression and anxiety.. her alone was the single strongest influence in me getting out of that. Her perseverance to still smile and cook (oh god i miss home cooked food lol) and just keep that positive attitude finally got to me positively. Seems like it restarted ten fold at 25 though.. but realizing this to will someday pass. Thank you

[Medical661guy]

Originally Posted by codeman420

Its starting to feel all to common i post a thread in need of advice or help. I guess it started 3 months ago. My work was going slow and they cut a day of pay every week. A few months after I find myself being dumped by my girlfriend of 5 years, and moving out from her and her daughter. I picked up a second job for nights and weekends, then got written up at my main job and given 3 days off no pay, for my attitude. Im vomiting every night and morning, enjoying my symptoms of GERD and IBS. Miscellaneous other things, problems non stop with the car or apartment sucking $400 a month since ive moved out has just drawn me into debt, no matter how much i work.

I start looking for other jobs now realizing 7 years after I graduated high school I have done shit with my life, obtaining a A+ certification and good work experience at a place Ive come to despise. IM realizing im making as much as people with 4 year degrees.. how can i change jobs.. Most people my age are getting married, having kids, and buying houses. Yet im here, not doing what I want to do in life.

I guess its come to a point. I feel all that ive worked and loved is gone, and no matter how damn hard I try to do what is right, and succeed.. i get sucked down this black hole.
I haven't felt this way for years.. and im afraid i wont get out.

I wrote this in a poem.. only realizing what summarizes me kindly..

"Still I stand their at the door pointing and laughing at a pitiful sucker that has come to believe his world has turned dark, only realizing this person I mock is myself."



thoughts? opinions? storys? comments? anything? Im feeling alone on this one...

After reading some of your post brother........let me start off by saying........Bless you and may healing energy come your way my friend!

I am on the same bout as you...........its been now 3 months ive been out of work,my Ex gf(whom i was with for 6yrs on and off but mostly on,living together and all) up and left..........everything went completely downhill and i seemed to fall more and more.........

I personally can say and not speak for ANYONE else except myself is that i needed CHANGE.........and everything(sounds pretty dumb) happens all for a reason......

Yes i may still be out of work,things may not be better at all,but you cant let these things get to you my friend......as long as YOU know deep in your heart and soul that you mean good,and that your try your best and that all anyone can expect out of anyone.........were here for you.........in some way or another we have all been through(or may be going through) some bad times these days........me personally i've found meditation,centering on myself and letting go of all the negotivity within me and surrounding me........finding yourself again.

Know your loved and never give up hope or faith

[HHCFairfax]

Originally Posted by codeman420

Its starting to feel all to common i post a thread in need of advice or help. I guess it started 3 months ago. My work was going slow and they cut a day of pay every week. A few months after I find myself being dumped by my girlfriend of 5 years, and moving out from her and her daughter. I picked up a second job for nights and weekends, then got written up at my main job and given 3 days off no pay, for my attitude. Im vomiting every night and morning, enjoying my symptoms of GERD and IBS. Miscellaneous other things, problems non stop with the car or apartment sucking $400 a month since ive moved out has just drawn me into debt, no matter how much i work.

I start looking for other jobs now realizing 7 years after I graduated high school I have done shit with my life, obtaining a A+ certification and good work experience at a place Ive come to despise. IM realizing im making as much as people with 4 year degrees.. how can i change jobs.. Most people my age are getting married, having kids, and buying houses. Yet im here, not doing what I want to do in life.

I guess its come to a point. I feel all that ive worked and loved is gone, and no matter how damn hard I try to do what is right, and succeed.. i get sucked down this black hole.
I haven't felt this way for years.. and im afraid i wont get out.

I wrote this in a poem.. only realizing what summarizes me kindly..

"Still I stand their at the door pointing and laughing at a pitiful sucker that has come to believe his world has turned dark, only realizing this person I mock is myself."



thoughts? opinions? storys? comments? anything? Im feeling alone on this one...

I am so sorry. It is so hard to feel alone and have your world, as you know it, dissolve right in front of you. That is a terrible feeling and it is not fair that you have to go through this.

When I was 25, I had a "quarter life crisis". I saw that my friends were buying houses, having kids etc. and I was still starting out my life. I was struggling financially and emotionally and felt that I could never get over this hump. The fact that I have anxiety and depression only made matters worse.

Now, 10 years later, I look back and realize how young I was and how unfair I put that pressure on myself. Also, 98% of those friends who got married are now divorced...most on their 2nd marriage but a handful on their 3rd. I also realized that because I was an overacheiver as a child, I automatically assumed that my life would be wonderful by the time I was 25.

It took me a while, but I eventually realized that grading my life based on the lives of other was extremely unfair. None of those people have experienced what I have. None of those people are me.

10 years later, I don't know if my life is *too much* different than it was before, I think it is my perception that has changed. Don't get me wrong, LOTS of stuff has turned for the positive, but some things like my financial situation hasn't really. And that is okay. I put myself first way more now that I ever did and I truly love who I am becoming. That means everything.

Yes, I still deal with depression & anxiety but I feel much more free. I feel like myself.

I am sending good thoughts out to you in the hopes that things settle down and become less stressful. You deserve a break!!

[Eazy]

2,000 mgs of red panax ginseng early in the morning and a few tenths of potent Bluedream smoked a few hours before bed works incredibly well for my symptoms.

[420bunny]

Excersize.
Get the juices flowing and push it.
This will sharpen your perseption
and increase problem solving chemicals
throughout your body. Put a stop to
negative thoughts, when they come, acknowledge,
put in a box on the shelf, thank you for sharing and
away you go. See yourself as a child, an adolecent,
treat that child with understanding and forgiveness
like a favorite friend. Start looking in the mirror
and tell that big galute how much you love him.

Then, heat up some milk, put a dash of cinnimon, nutmeg
vanilla extract, relax and enjoy....