[The Urban Spaceman]

Hey and Good Morning to you all.
My BP is acting up yet again so it looks like i gotta stay home yet another day and stay quiet. I dunno if I'm gonna be able to stay in the study. This one week you're fine and the next week you're gonna explode thing is kinda getting to me. and i'm sick of having headaches and ringing in my ears all the time...

oh well, i didn't come here to complain about my high blood pressure now did i? Nope I came to give y'all a good riddle!

so let's have at today's riddle. this one looks deceptively simple. i'm sure you can complicate it like mad for me. or add Monitor Lizards or Space Aliens (oh wait - I'm a space alien!) - well, you'll think of SOMETHING i'm sure. we haven't had any little green men yet...

A man went to a restaurant and he used two forks and one knife. Because of one fork he did not have to pay for his meal. Can you tell me why?

Ok, my guess is either someone is gonna get this right away, or nobody is gonna get it. i guess we will see soon enough.

peace and much love...

Spacey

[evilstevo]

he used the fork as a weapon to make his escape.

[OakSmokeMJA]

That depends, is one of them a salad fork?:slaugh:

[The Urban Spaceman]

Originally Posted by OakSmokeMJA

That depends, is one of them a salad fork?:slaugh:

well, let's just say he ate his meal using one knife and one fork...

One fork was filthy.

[OakSmokeMJA]

1. The fork had a roach on it. Ewwwwww
2. There was a coupon for a free meal wrapped around the fork.
3. He held the other fork to the manager's throat and threatened to stab him with it unless he got a free meal.

[kennabis]

one of the forks had an engraved "fork you" on it, and as the man made such a stink about it, the establishment decided to let him dine for free.

i use two spoons.

[The Urban Spaceman]

Originally Posted by kennabis

one of the forks had an engraved "fork you" on it, and as the man made such a stink about it, the establishment decided to let him dine for free.

i use two spoons.

i like using a SPORK!

so you guys are doing good so far... keep em coming!
you are all gonna go when ya hear the answer!

[STEVE-O]

1. He forked over the cash for his meal.

2. One was a tuning fork, & He played music for his meal.

3. One was a Pitchfork, He traded a truckload of Hay for his meal.

4. The meal sucked, so he told them to " Go fork yourselves "

STEVE-O

[The Urban Spaceman]

OK, I just HATE it when someone gets the answer so FAST!!
but maybe i just won't say WHO and what the answer was! at least not YET!
STEVE-O!!!

[The Urban Spaceman]

Originally Posted by STEVE-O

1. He forked over the cash for his meal.

2. One was a tuning fork, & He played music for his meal.

3. One was a Pitchfork, He traded a truckload of Hay for his meal.

4. The meal sucked, so he told them to " Go fork yourselves "

STEVE-O

LOL - so i say we have a winner and everybody stops playing!
OK so here is how it went... STEVE-O hit it and quit it with the TUNING FORK answer! yep, the restaurant had a piano so the guy was a piano tuner. the first fork he used was his tuning fork. the restaurant owner not only paid the dude for his services but ALSO gave him his lunch for free!

so just like i said, someone was either gonna get it right away, or not at all! it was more like right away...

the day is still young tho and i think you are still gonna need something to occupy your minds when i go out to do a few errands.

so here is Riddle number 2 for today...

A man comes out of his house to find that his brand new car is damaged beyond repair after he has paid for it in full, but before he has had time to insure the car. However, he is absolutely delighted at what has happened. Why???

if ya figure THIS one out right away i will be most surprised...
have fun!

[Jeffster]

I missed the first, but will jump in on the second, with a wild guess:

He was making a movie with a car chase in it, and the new car he got was purchased with the intention of having it get all smashed up in the movie's car chase scene. When he came out and saw it all smashed up, he was happy to see that his movie crew had done a good job of smashing up the car.

[STEVE-O]

The car was damaged because......... some international smugglers were on the run from the C.I.A. and Interpol. The smugglers were forced to ditch a truckload of Russian mail order brides & hid them in his new car.

He was delighted because although his new car was damaged, He now had 7 new brides, one for each day of the week !! ( I bet Iconoclast got this one right ! lol- )

STEVE-O

[The Urban Spaceman]

Originally Posted by STEVE-O

The car was damaged because......... some international smugglers were on the run from the C.I.A. and Interpol. The smugglers were forced to ditch a truckload of Russian mail order brides & hid them in his new car.

He was delighted because although his new car was damaged, He now had 7 new brides, one for each day of the week !! ( I bet Iconoclast got this one right ! lol- )

STEVE-O

LOL - you aren't gonna get so lucky THIS time bro! but they ARE good answers! and although ANY answer with the number 7 is automatically a winner, today we are gonna go for the REAL answer...

[KushMeister]

He was happy, because although his car was a total loss, it was destroyed due to a navigational mishap by '7' Little Green Space Aliens.
Seems they were pretty wasted on some fine, Intergalactical, Gila Monster Diesel, when they accidentally crashed their saucer into the man's car.

They promptly appologized to the man for the mishap, granted him eternal life...even beyond December 2012, and best of all...

They gave him $165 they found yesterday, that he quickly took to an Orange County Co-Op, where he donated it for 2 grams of Early Girl Outdoor!

Am I right???

[The Urban Spaceman]

Originally Posted by KushMeister

He was happy, because although his car was a total loss, it was destroyed due to a navigational mishap by '7' Little Green Space Aliens.
Seems they were pretty wasted on some fine, Intergalactical, Gila Monster Diesel, when they accidentally crashed their saucer into the man's car.

They promptly appologized to the man for the mishap, granted him eternal life...even beyond December 2012, and best of all...

They gave him $165 they found yesterday, that he quickly took to an Orange County Co-Op, where he donated it for 2 grams of Early Girl Outdoor!

Am I right???

Actually - it looks like you DID get it, sort of! his car WAS destroyed by something from space - a meteor had crashed into his car and destroyed it! fact is, museums and scientists and stuff will pay big money for meteors that hit your car and stuff! at least according to the riddle book! I'm personally not so sure.

so that was fun as always....

check back tomorrow for another brain buster!

peace and much love
Spacey

[satch]

It was an SUV and the price of gassing it up is more than the cost of buying it new!:slaugh:

[OakSmokeMJA]

A man comes out of his house to find that his brand new car is damaged beyond repair after he has paid for it in full, but before he has had time to insure the car. However, he is absolutely delighted at what has happened. Why???

Aw... meteor?, here's some other viable explainations.

1. It was Stevie Wonder's limosuine that hit the car.

2. It was the Publisher's Clearinghouse Award Van.

3. He hated our whole car worshiping culture and was just happy to be free from the car note, insurance cost, deadlock traffic, and gas prices that were depleting his life savings and his sanity. He got a job in his relative neighborhood and rode his bike to work living happily ever after. <---

:slaugh:

[The Urban Spaceman]

Originally Posted by OakSmokeMJA

Aw... meteor?, here's some other viable explainations.

1. It was Stevie Wonder's limosuine that hit the car.

2. It was the Publisher's Clearinghouse Award Van.

3. He hated our whole car culture and was just happy to be free from the car note and insurance and gas prices that were depleting his life savings. <---

:slaugh:

well, honestly i prefer your answers! especially the Stevie Wonder one! So was Stevie driving? and that's why he crashed?

wait till ya see tomorrow's riddle!

peace

[OakSmokeMJA]

Originally Posted by The Urban Spaceman

well, honestly i prefer your answers! especially the Stevie Wonder one! So was Stevie driving? and that's why he crashed?

lol
At that point, who cares? ...It's freakin STEVIE WONDER!:slaugh:

[The Urban Spaceman]

Originally Posted by OakSmokeMJA

lol
At that point, who cares? ...It's freakin STEVIE WONDER!:slaugh:

ya know - i gotta admit you're right! freakin Stevie Wonder! I saw him when i was just a lad of thirteen on the Steel Pier in Atlantic City. He was "Little" Stevie Wonder then. It was one of those review shows where there are like 20 acts and they all do one number. he did Fingertips part 1 and damn! what a show! he was even younger than me and MAN could he play that harmonica and sing!

[OakSmokeMJA]

Originally Posted by The Urban Spaceman

ya know - i gotta admit you're right! freakin Stevie Wonder! I saw him when i was just a lad of thirteen on the Steel Pier in Atlantic City. He was "Little" Stevie Wonder then. It was one of those review shows where there are like 20 acts and they all do one number. he did Fingertips part 1 and damn! what a show! he was even younger than me and MAN could he play that harmonica and sing!

Superstition, Livin For the City, the man is a genius. I have never had the honor of seeing him live, although I really would like to.
Not too many artists come along with the kind of talent that Stevie Wonder has. I grew up listening to him.
I must admit, however,I just threw him out there though for comedy sake.:slaugh:
hey, now that you mention it, I listened to a couple of your own diddy's that you gave us links to, Spaceman, you've got talent.

[The Urban Spaceman]

Originally Posted by OakSmokeMJA

Superstition, Livin For the City, the man is a genius. I have never had the honor of seeing him live, although I really would like to.
Not too many artists come along with the kind of talent that Stevie Wonder has. I grew up listening to him.
I must admit, however,I just threw him out there though for comedy sake.:slaugh:
hey, now that you mention it, I listened to a couple of your own diddy's that you gave us links to, Spaceman, you've got talent.

everything the man did was innovative and just displayed his musical genius. i was also fortunate enough to see him open for the Rolling Stones back in... uhhhhhhhh, i forget! (my sense of time is kinda slippery being from another galaxy and stuff!!) be easy to find out, sometime in the mid 70's tho. i think maybe even Superstition was out then. and Stevie just went from instrument to instrument drums, keys, you name it! freaking awesome! and he wasn't just "playing" he displayed real talent on each instrument. what a drummer! you would never know.

and for comedy's sake he was perfect!

so thanks, i guess you could say i am a gifted amateur. haven't been paid to play in a while now so i suppose i am retired to amateur status. but thanks! i'm not ashamed of those songs at all! kinda proud actually. that country tune almost made it! almost. and once or twice a year i get a check for fifty or a hundred dollars or so for the other one. the lyricist for One Love sells cd's at her shows so she sends me my songwriting royalties!

[KushMeister]

Originally Posted by The Urban Spaceman

i was also fortunate enough to see him open for the Rolling Stones back in... uhhhhhhhh, i forget! (my sense of time is kinda slippery being from another galaxy and stuff!!) be easy to find out, sometime in the mid 70's tho. i think maybe even Superstition was out then. and Stevie just went from instrument to instrument drums, keys, you name it! freaking awesome!

I was at that concert too, and yes...Superstition was on his playlist!
I wasn't a huge Stevie fan at the time, but certainly was following his performance!
We sat 12th row center at the Forum for that show. My Aunt worked at TicketTron at the time, and punched in our order the second the tixs went on sale!

[STEVE-O]

I actually had dinner with Stevie Wonders mom once.......kinda cool story.

I was doing a job walk, ( measuring for carpet ) @ a house in Encino, south of the boulevard. The ladys name was Lula Mae Hardaway. Anyway, while measuring, I cant help but notice all these gold records on her Livingroom wall. I look at them & they all have Stevie Wonders name on them with different song titles. WOW !!

So.......I say to the lady ( me not being too bright & all ) " Wow, you must be a big Stevie Wonder fan " And she responds to me, " Im his biggest fan darlin', Im his Momma !! "

So, after I wiped the egg off my face, we chatted for a couple hours. I told her all my favorite songs. She told me some great personal stories about him growing up.
We ate colla greens, & some other stuff I will never eat again !! LOL-

She was a super sweet lady, It was a time I wont ever forget ( bout 15 yrs. ago )

Anyway, thats my story, thought Id share-

STEVE-O